We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
