I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
