I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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