should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
