ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
