even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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