Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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