she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
