p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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