Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
