he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
