could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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