i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
