had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
