you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
