I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
