I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
