Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
