i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
