i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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