We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
