the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
