Where did you get a picture of my penis
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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