Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight