Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
