my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
