The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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