Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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