im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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