Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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