she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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