the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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