i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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