Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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