It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
