Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
