I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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