She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
