Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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