Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are two peas in an std pod
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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