STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize