Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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