you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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