It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
