I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
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I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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