So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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