she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
