I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
