I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
