Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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