Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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