these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
