Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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