She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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