Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
