im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
