margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize