rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I could make wine with my vomit
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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