it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
