Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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