Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
And then he peed in my hair
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