He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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