she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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